THE ART OF CONVERSATION – it is not as easy as it looks

We live in a world of words. Our lives are filled with sound bites, e-mails, and instant messages. Conversation, however, is often rare.

The art of conversation (skillful discussion or dialogue)-engaging another person in a meaningful exchange of ideas and feelings—is even more rare. When was the last time you searched for new insight with another person as companion and, perhaps, guide? How often in the last week have you been in a conversation "where all persons had a chance to speak, where each felt heard, and where each listened well?" (Margaret Wheatley's Turning to One Another, p. 3)

The questions facing the human community today require precisely the reflective, exploratory approach found in the ever-ancient, ever-new art of conversation (skillful discussion and dialogue).


CONVERSATION AS DIALOGUE – it is not about me, but us

The first encyclical letter of Paul VI (Ecclesiam Suam) was a call to impress on the internal relationships of the church, the character of a dialogue between people whose basic principle is charity. Paul VI outlined the characteristics of such dialogue: clearness, meekness, trust, and prudence. "Before speaking, it is necessary to listen, not only to the other's voice, but to the heart. The other [person/group] must first be understood; and where the other [person/group] merits it, agreed with"–Ecclesiam Suam (#87).

To hear the other's voice and heart is always a challenge and requires practice as well as discipline. Jean Alvarez and Nancy Conway, CSJ, have written two articles to assist persons in developing the practice and discipline of dialogue.

Dialogue is far richer than debate, advocacy, and an exchange of ideas, negotiation or a discussion. It is not a one-side, winner-take-all approach to issues. This is why we refer to the art of conversation as skillful discussion or dialogue. Peter Senge reminds us that "to the Greeks dia-logos meant a free-flowing of meaning through the group to discover insight not attainable individually." Dialogue, then, is a circumstance where those in conversation begin to think together.


POETIC SUMMARY

Sooner or later the questions that concern us
will have less to do with the answers
and more to do with finding that fine line
of deep heartfelt inquiry
that leads us ever closer to
the sources of meaning and passion
that rest at the core of our life.
                    --Michael Jones
                      Tunings: Words to Live By Every Day of the Year

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