Resources for a Conversation:
LEARNING CONVERSATION

So often in our conversations we are intent upon selling some idea/value to the other. In learning conversations we try not to persuade, but rather to pursue the truth together. This means we do much more listening and seeking to understand where the other is coming from. Once we think we "get it" we look for the truth there, affirm the truth and then develop further develop the conversation. Some things that will help us have learning conversations are the following:

we acknowledge one another as equals - we are equals because we are human beings and because we need each other.

we try to stay curious about each other - When we come to conversation it's helpful to be interested in who's there. Curiosity honors the truth that the other has something to teach me.

we recognize that we need each other's help to become better listeners - it's hard work to listen. One of the gifts of conversation is that it helps us to become good listeners again.

we slow down so we have time to think and reflect - so often we don't have time to sit together and think. We tend to rush in and out of meetings where we make hurried, not thoughtful decisions. Conversation helps us slow down so we can think together.

we remember that conversation is the natural way humans think together - conversations help us to remember as well as to learn from one another. Language was created so we could know each other better. Talking too fast, interrupting others, monopolizing the time, giving speeches or pronouncements get in the way of wise thinking and healthy relationships.

we expect it to be messy sometimes - like life conversations are messy some times. Everyone speaks from their unique perspective so we won't all agree. We have to be willing to listen, to be curious about the different ways of experiencing and expressing ideas. We don't have to make sense of it right away. Messiness has its place.

Paraphrased from Meg Wheatlely's book on Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future Dimensions,2002

Materials here prepared by Sr. Nancy Westmeyer, a Franciscan from Tiffin Ohio, who is skilled in helping parish based groups have conversations. Contact her at nancyw@totalink.net


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