How to start a conversation: I. Gather a group of people – all you need are a couple of friends! Ask your friends if they would like to talk over coffee/lunch about the [practice of silencing and the culture of silence that marks the Church] health of the Church. Encourage them to bring anyone they think might enjoy listening or contributing to the conversation. Put a notice in the parish bulletin stating that you would like to talk about the current state of the Church [in terms of the practice of silencing and the culture of silence] during these dynamic times. Invite parishioners to contact you if they are interested. If there is anything special that may attract people to the group (see below), include that as well. Make sure you add your email address if you have one. II. The Conversation Plan for your [conversation] to last roughly 1.5-2 hours (The percentage mark [below] denotes the percentage of the time you want to allot for each portion). [Be sure]You want to make sure that you have enough time so members feel comfortable and have the opportunity to speak without feeling rushed. [At the same time], yet you want to be sensitive to their schedules. The purpose of the conversation is for the members to share their thoughts and/or experiences regarding the Church's culture of silence. This silencing takes many forms and on a variety of topics, as you will explore in your discussion. Although some people might want to take this time to vent their frustrations or hostilities, avoid remaining in this frame of mind. The most constructive conversation that occurs is one that takes place in a context of love for the Church, a love that criticizes because it desires to see the Church positively transformed. Introductions and Prayer (10%) Use a good introduction question to get people comfortable: What's their name? Why are they here? What do they hope to talk about? Open the discussion with prayer, one that is centered on openness, sincerity, and healing. (Click here for two suggested prayers) Establish some discussion ground rules. Active listening and participating must occur for healthy conversation. (Click here for suggestions and guidelines) In order for people to contribute sincere reflections, they have to feel respected and safe. The group needs to agree on ground rules that will lead to productive and intimate discussion. Some suggestions are: No interrupting Everyone will have an equal chance to speak All ideas are to be received on equal grounds All comments are to be respected Confidentiality will be kept regarding people's comments. Discussion (30%) Reflect silently as a group on how the Church or your parish has changed in the past five years, or on your experience s within the Catholic Church. Then, have each person respond to the following questions: What do you love about the Church? What grieves you? What encourages a culture of silence in the Church? It works best for each person to answer each question, then for another to speak. You can go around as many times as necessary. As you talk, have someone write down questions, problems, or ideas that arise. If you get stuck on one topic question, feel free to move on. At this point, it is just important that everyone has a chance to the issues are raised and discussed address the questions. In your conversation, you will probably touch on a host of questions. After your group feels that the questions have been adequately developed, take a look at the notes. You may find that your group tends to gravitate toward a couple of questions. Are there trends? Brainstorming (30%) Discuss the following questions: How does a culture of silence inhibit these problems questions from being addressed? What would open up channels of communication among the bishop, priest(s), and laity? Have everyone voice their ideas, no matter what they are, and continue to write them down. At this point, you're just looking for possibilities, for different ways of solving the problem addressing the questions. You never know how one idea can be built and modified using the collective creativity of the group. Analyze the possibilities (20%) Once you have exhausted your imaginations and ideas, take a more critical look at your options and individual suggestions. Eliminate, modify, or combine ideas as necessary. Some things to consider: How do you think this idea could be accomplished? What are the pros/cons of this idea? Wrap-up (10%) It would be good to end the conversation with a short prayer. Then... III. The Conversation Continues Congratulations! You and your group have just broken through the barriers of silence in the Catholic Church. Afterward, talk about your impressions of the conversation. What would you like to see for next time? Plan for a following –up date. Agree upon a time and a place that work well for the group. Think of other people to join the conversation: Who would add to or benefit from the next conversation? Who has an interest in the topic? Who would bring a different perspective? Who would bring a different experience of race, class, age, religion, or sex? his person: Tips for inviting new people How will you invite these people? Remember, a personal, face-to-face invitation is the most effective way to let people know that you value their input. If you can't talk in person, give them a call. Remember that more and more people are using the Internet to send invitations (www.evite.com) and follow-up reminders. Don't be afraid to tell them why you think they'd be a good addition to the group. If they say they'll attend, make sure you remind them a day or so before the date. If they can't attend but want to be informed, make sure you remember to keep them posted and to invite them to the next meetings. Don't forget about the fun! Although you may be talking about "Church issues," remember to make it enjoyable – for you as well as your newcomers. No one says you can't discuss your key topics over a table full of homemade desserts, cheese/wine, quilting, or go out for a movie afterwards. Think about what draws you to an event, or what pulls a group together, and integrate it into these meet-ups. Promote a conversation TOP OF PAGE